Desperate Dictator Housewives - Belarus's Galina Lukashenko

Last time on 'Desperate Central Asia Housewives', the ever smiling Mehriban Aliyeva was rumoured to be playing 'hide the sausage' with the king of the comb-over, Belarus's 'Uncle Leo from Seinfeld' lookalike president, Aleksandr Lukashenko. Seeing that he is up for re-election today and has been in the news lately, not least due to a new WikiLeaks-published leaked US State Department cable, lets delve into the weird and wonderful world of the Lukashenkos.

20 years ago there was this huge apartment complex known as the USSR consisting of 15 units of various sizes. Actually it was 1 big house with 14 adjoining, comparatively tiny units. Though in name they were owner-occupied, the big house actually controlled the whole place. When things started to unravel, the 14 adjoining units one-by-one took over the deeds to their unit, though no matter what, they were still physically attached. The Aliyevs, owners of one of the scruffier units towards the back, was having fights with the neighbouring Armenian unit who claimed 20% of theirs. On the other side of the building, there was one unit which was a bit dull but was at the entrance to the whole complex from the richer neighbouring and ever expanding complex called the EU. This was the Belarus unit. It was practically forced to take ownership of its apartment, even though the tenants were on the whole quite fine with having the main house being the main guy. The old fittings were renovated by bringing back the original white and red finish, but things just weren't how they were used to. Along comes a collective farm manager to bring back the good old days when the place was in a red and green finish. The tenants loved this idea so they made him head of the house. He runs the house like he did his collective farm.

That's the rise of Aleksandr Lukashenko in a nutshell. Since 1994 Belarus has been his solid domain. According to the West, he is 'bizarre' and 'disturbed', despised by his people, brutally crushes his opposition and sees himself eventually leading a reformed USSR. The West has even given him a catchy throwaway soundbite: 'Europe's Last Dictator'. He and 41 other high Belarusian officials are barred entry into the EU and US too. Lukashenko, or 'batka' (an affectionate term meaning 'father' but original meaning 'big brother'... yes, the irony) has basically made Belarus into a post-Gorbachev USSR. Russian instead of Belarusian is the official language, and the Russians were quite happy with the get up. They continued providing subsidised raw materials keeping the heavy industrial base of Belarus going, plus the flat country was the transit point to Europe for its huge oil and gas supplies. But as in all friendships there have been some row times. Moscow got cross that Belarus was using the cheap Russian oil it receives to refine and then sell it at much higher international prices for megaprofit. The Russians stopped the gravy train and then things went downhill between the two countries, though the extent that this happened was probably not as drastic as the West portrayed it. Quietly, the West pounced on this opportunity and started currying up to Belarus in what they called 'change through engagement', though this is now being presented that Belarus was sucking up to the West. Essentially, Belarus is in a powerful position. If the West wants ample supplies of gas to come from Russia, as the main transit country Belarus needs to be placated.

The Collective Farm Boss turn Prez Aleksandr Lukashenko

So what is the reality then? Well, the West has it wrong with the Belarusian mood as the majority genuinely support him. They don't even need stuffed ballot boxes (well, not too many) for that, even though European monitors always claim that elections in Belarus are not 'free and fair' (but then again, they claimed blatantly fraudulent elections in Kosovo and Macedonia in the past to be 'free and fair'). The EU has even tried to bribe Belarus by offering a 3 billion euro aid package, so long as the elections are 'free and fair' by their standards. In other words, if the Western-backed opposition wins, then the elections will be deemed 'free and fair', but they won't if Lukashenko wins.

What the West fails to understand, or more likely don't want to understand, is that the Belarusians have taken a 'stand back and observe' approach. The change from state socialism to free-for-all capitalism in Eastern Europe has brought misery and poverty to many people, while many of the former nomenklatura immensely profiting from the experience. Belarusians, having experienced for themselves in the early 1990s what capitalism entailed (i.e. immense corruption and chaos) did not want it. So in 1994, when Lukashenko ran for president on the nostalgia ticket that he would bring back USSR-style stability, the Belarusians voted en-masse for it. They even voted for the old Soviet iconography to come back, to provide at least the signs of past certainties. Lukashenko eventually gained the right to go for president unlimited times, which in countries like the UK was seen as a firm example that he intends being a dictator for life (never minding that in the UK prime ministers don't have a fixed number of terms). But why then is Lukashenko popular? Simple - he pays pensions and wages on time! This is a factor unfathomable for people in the West. Belarusians are well aware that in neighbouring countries like Russia and Ukraine people have had their pensions, benefits and services drastically cut and workers are often not paid for months or years! By having Lukashenko and his neo-USSR system in power, these phenomena just do not not happen in Belarus, thus guaranteeing that he firmly keeps the top job. This is also why no 'colour revolution' has ever taken hold in Belarus - the Belarusians observed their neighbours and not only saw how the promises of a new age of prosperity and transparency failed to appear, but that their living standard was still hopelessly low. Hence the Belarusians hold on to their system, much to the chagrin of the West who would prefer that they called the shots.

Belarus's opposition gets comparatively a lot of press in the West. However, in Belarus they are out of touch, fractious, ineffective and hardly proposing a well-defined agenda which will guarantee a prosperous future. It's no wonder they

Whoops! Damn wind!

Now I know what you're asking - so what about the wife? Does Mr Lukashenko have a supposedly 'humble but sophisticated' show pony with political ambitions who does 'charity work' while pocketing some of the loot on the side and making sure that her kids and family have diamonds for breakfast? Well, no. Unlike many of the other wives in the apartment complex formerly known as the USSR, she is far, far away from the limelight. So much so that there are wild rumours as to her whereabouts. One has it that Galina Lukashenko 'toils as a sort of milkmaid, in official obscurity, at a remote dairy farm deep in the forests of Belarus'. I just think that rumour doesn't do any cliché any justice - if there is going to be any rumour, then let's go to town on this - She should be in a salt mine drunk on vodka while singing the Volga Boat Men song.

However, I did find this bit of gossip about the lovely but mysterious Galina.

It's not clear how Galina met Belarus' future president, why the two decided to wed, or why Lukashenko doesn't get a divorce. During his 16 years as president, Galina has never once been seen at his side. She doesn't have Lukashenko's direct phone number and must schedule a visit through official channels if she wants to see him. Things took a bad turn when she unwittingly entertained a few reporters with stories about how much she loved to milk her favorite cow, Milka, and even handed out photographs of the act. Her husband was livid. To prevent future negative PR, Lukashenko confiscated his wife's cow, ripped out her garden, erected a fence around her decrepit wooden hut, and placed a police observation post nearby to keep an eye on her. Other than cultivating a strawberry patch, Galina has been forbidden by presidential decree to do any sort of farming. Lukashenko visits her on her birthday sometimes, bearing gifts such as a microwave or coffeemaker. Her mother and sister live next door, while it's rumored that Lukashenko lives with another woman.

Galina and Milka the cow

Take it as you will. I did find this piece of news in Russian stating that Galina was given an award earlier this year by the government for her work in the Shklovskii region, but here details as to what is the status between Aleksandr and his wife are not given. It just says that unlike other first ladies she keeps out of the public limelight and doesn't even appear with the Belarusian president at official functions.

Lukashenko surrounded by his sons Viktor and Dmitry (behind) and holding Nikolai's hand. The Khrushchev suit is big in Belarus!

But I hear you saying: so what about any kids who are now in positions of power and wealth and ready to take over from daddy when the fateful day comes? Alas, they do exist. Lukashenko has three sons. The two eldest, Viktor and Dmitry, are often seen with 'batka' and have done a little too well. Viktor is his daddy's 'national security aide' so he gets to go around and be important. But the real scandal is the third son - Nikolai, born in 2004. He too now gets to be seen with his dad on special occasions, but the big question is - who is the mother? It definitely is not Galina. Speculation runs rife. Top of the list of suspected mamas for Nikolai is Lukashenko's personal doctor, Irina Abelskaya. Check her out...

Belarus, for all of its faults, is an example of that at least one part of Eastern Europe did not blindly follow the alluring path of free-for-all capitalism. Yes, Lukashenko is authoritarian and the system he has maintained is not perfect but we must respect the fact that a majority of Belarus's population do genuinely support him. While the media do play a role in encouraging this support, the fact that wages and pensions are paid and basic services are provided ensures a more satisfied population rather than one that can say whatever it wants (to a degree) but on an empty stomach and with very limited access to basic services. We as a society need to be aware that 'human rights' is more than just free speech (which we know really doesn't exists - see the WikiLeaks fallout) - they also include the rights to services, health care and a stable income, which means a decent life for all. Let's leave Belarus to decide what it wants.