World Admits to Anti-Serb Conspiracy!

Report from Serbian 'news' website http://www.njuz.net/

WORLD ADMITS TO ANTI-SERB CONSPIRACY

NEW YORK, 8. December 2010, (Njuz) – A large number of world leaders, thinkers and religious figureheads at an extraordinary sitting of the United Nations in New York yesterday, in a joint statement, admitted of the existence of a global conspiracy against Serbs and the Serbian people.

This extraordinary act by the world’s leaders is an attempt to manage the diplomatic fallout which could arise from the revelation of confidential diplomatic cables published by WikiLeaks. Tom Cruise, who read the statement out in front of the world’s leaders, stated that for the sake of quicker conciliation between the Serbs and the whole world, it would be best that the Serbs hear now that a conspiracy exists rather than them finding out in a few months time through leaked diplomatic cables.

The statement points out that information from WikiLeaks would reveal that there is hardly any public or secret organisation not involved in a conspiracy against the Serbs. Whether it be the gay lobby, America or the Jehovah’s Witnesses, through to the Vatican and the Freemasons and all the way to the anti-smoking lobby, NATO and the Jews, all of these organisations, through their united efforts and self-interest, have for centuries attempted, and to a degree succeeded, in obstructing the freedom and uniqueness of the Serbian being.

The activities of these organisations and informal associations have primarily been geared towards making the lives of Serbia’s citizens, ever since the country’s foundation in the eight century AD, as difficult as possible. The only difference involved is that some individuals and associations, especially the six Jewish families that rule the world, act out of personal gain, while others out of malice, such as Osama bin Laden. A few organisations, such as for instance the Knights Templar and the Illuminati, have involved themselves in this conspiracy “out of the pure fun of it all”.

As we have found out off the record, the secret cables will show how in concealing the conspiracy the whole world used various means, most commonly making up events which sooner or later would ward off the suspicion of Serbian conspiracy theorists that a conspiracy exists at all. For example, in order to divert attention from the anti-Serb conspiracy, World Wars 1 and 2 were started, Kennedy was shot, the Chilean miners were stuck, the Chinese economic revolution was concocted, the Ramayana and Mahabharata epics were devised and ‘the Beatles’ was formed.

All of this and many more other events have been sufficient enough to successfully hide for thousands of years the coordinated conspiratorial activities on first glance of various activist groups such as Catholic and Muslim fundamentalists and followers of Tom Cruise, the Scientologists.

There has yet to be an official reaction from Serbia to this statement, however the Serbian Association of Conspiracy Theorists claim that this admittance “is the work of the Croats who are just waiting for the right moment to denigrate Serbia”.

By the way, http://www.njuz.net/ is a Serbian equivalent to the Onion or the Daily Mash. Scary how many Serbs (and people in the Balkans) though would believe this report. Just replace 'Serb' and 'Serbia' with 'Croat/Croatia', 'Macedonia/Macedonians', 'Bulgaria/Bulgarians', 'Greeks/Greece' etc. and whammo, instant believers.

More are on the way... A Balkan WikiLeaks

Not as much as more cables (that's a certain), but the WikiLeaks concept is now growing. I was wondering whether we would see an expansion of whistleblower websites, some with a regional or industry focus, or perhaps rivals might appear. I didn't have to wait too long. The Bulgarian media are reporting of BalkanLeaks, a local site inspired by WikiLeaks, to provide a place for people to leak secret information. Going by the motto 'the Balkans are not keeping secrets anymore', the site already has received and posted documents detailing shady gas deals, a conflict of interest involving the person who compiled the memorandum on Bulgaria's new Belene nuclear power plant, plus information about the anti-corruption police and powerful mafia figures.

Initial journalistic investigations into who is behind this Balkan WikiLeaks have pointed to a Bulgarian journalist resident in France, Atanas Chobanov. He has admitted that he is part of the BalkanLeaks team but claims that it was not his idea, though he has accepted the role of spokesperson due to his long-standing commitment to free speech.

Chobanov pointed out that the information received so far shows that there is an interest in Bulgaria and the Balkans in having such a site, and that at this stage the most important factor is safeguarding the anonymity of sources. He also added that soon on the site 'interesting details about Bulgaria's judicial system' will appear.

The server hosting this site happens to be the same one that hosts WikiLeaks in France. The company recently refused to bow to French government pressure to close down WikiLeaks from its servers.

This promises to be a very exciting website as the level of transparency in the Balkans is not very high. Nevertheless, the large number of mafia opponents and journalists murdered in the past two decades throughout the region forebodes a larger risk for those who leak such sensitive documents.

Devastated! Mica Trofrtaljka will not be on Serbian VIP TV show

Who? Well, check out this link to a previous post and you'll find out who this amazing anti-hero is. The third season of the mega-popular VIP reality TV show 'Farma' (Farm) will be starting on the infamous Balkan TV station Pink this Sunday. The previous season, also subject to a post here, produced much controversy and, hence, plenty of free publicity for a whole bunch of talentless has-been Balkan celebrities. Like flies to shit, a new load of publicity-craving Serbian showbiz once-weres are to be unfurled onto an unrelenting Balkan viewing public.

Trofrtaljka, who despite being a huge star since the 1960s still lives modestly in her birth village, was mooted as a favourite to be on the show. However, she has turned down being on the televised Farm. In a statement given to a Belgrade newspaper, Trofrtaljka said that 'What Farma! What a load of noise! I told them that if they give me 5000 euros a week, then maybe I would go, but like this, no way! I would scare them all off... within a day' (OK, she said that she would scare them off u pičku materinu - ask someone open-minded who knows a Balkan Slavic language what that means). The earthy woman of the people described the Farmers as 'idiots and prostitutes' and that she has no business with them. Well said Mica!

By the way, the new film about Trofrtaljka's life premiered at the Sarajevo Film Festival late July. Here are some details.

Soap opera diplomacy: How Turkey is winning the Balkans and losing Israel

Much has been reported lately of Turkey's renewed confidence as a regional power and its moves for even greater worldwide influence. Firm evidence of this is the Iran nuclear deal it brokered along with an equally ambitious Brazil. What hasn't been picked up as much is that Turkey is finally winning the hearts and minds of a group of peoples with deep-felt historic animosity towards it - the Christian peoples of the Balkan. Last week, the Turkish prime minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan an made important visit to the Balkans, visiting majority Orthodox Christian countries Serbia and Bulgaria along the way. Despite hysterical and at times ridiculous protests by ultra-nationalists in both countries, Erdoğan's meetings were extremely successful, resulting in many and much needed infrastructure projects being discussed and approved.

Historically Turkey has been seen by the Christians of the Balkans as the cruel occupier, with Turks themselves painted as vicious and murderous, a view much more reflecting the Western stereotype of Muslims from previous centuries than actual first hand experience. It doesn't take long for Christian Balkanites to bring up how much they suffered under 5 centuries of Turkish rule, which is a throw away excuse given for any perceived backwardness they may have. Whole national identities, such as Greek, Serbian and Bulgarian ones, are based around this hatred of Turks and sense of revenge for the humiliation and degredation over such a long time.

Turkophobia naturally does not extend to the Muslim populations of the Balkans, many of whom are ethnic Turks themselves, who see Turkey as a protector of their interests and welfare, a role Turkey has always willing accepted. Turkey provided as much support as it could to the Bosniaks in the Balkan Wars, was one of the first countries to recognise Kosovo independence, maintains very strong relations with Macedonia and has always championed the rights of Muslims throughout the region. This is the basis for the argument Balkan Christian ultra-nationalists have that Muslim populations represent a fifth column showing more loyalty to Turkey than to their homelands.

So why are things different now? Serbs should be angry at Erdoğan for recognising their 'Jerusalem' (Kosovo) as a separate country, but they aren't. Television is the answer. Turkish soap operas, subtitled or dubbed depending on the country, have taken the Balkans by storm in the past 2 years. After almost 2 decades of constantly watching increasing monotonous plot lines of cheap Latin American soaps, the higher production values, more intricate storylines and, most importantly, the closeness of Turkish cultural dynamics with those of the Balkans, has seen ratings for Turkish soap opera, and consequently for Turkey, go up. The first soap to make a breakthrough was Binbir Gece (1001 Nights), making its stars massively famous beyond Turkey.

The success of Turkey's soap operas has come as a surprise to Turks. Turkey has been wanting for decades to regain a part of past glories when the Ottoman Empire was responsible for bringing technological and culinary advances to peoples around the world. With the fall of Communism, Turkey hinged its hopes at spreading its influence to Turkic speaking countries of ex-USSR and to Muslims in the Balkans. Results from this policy have been patchy, whereas Turkish culture and business ties have made some inroads, it still faces very hard competition (from Russia in particular) in most fields. Turkey's ineffectiveness in exerting any influence over recent conflicts between Turkic speaking Uzbeks and Kyrgyz showed the little extent Turkey's political reach has over Central Asia, for instance.

While Turkish soap operas have been instrumental in building closer ties with the Balkans, unfortunately the opposite can be said of once-close Turkish-Israeli relations. Part of the rather rapid deterioration of relations between the Western allies came at the hands of controversial Turkish soap opera Kurtlar Vadisi (The Valley of Wolves). Playing on deep-held Turkish public views of widespread political conspiracy, Kurtlar Vadisi has sporned a whole series of politically-based soaps and films that have been hugely popular in Turkey and Turks everwhere, and now abroad (the first series is currently being shown in Kosovo, Albania and Macedonia). Topics the series has covered include US military activity in Iraq, Kurdish terrorism, Turkish army control and the mafia, mainly in a populist/Islamist viewpoint much in line with the beliefs of the main Turkish viewing demographic. What made Israel's foreign ministry particularly angry (coming after Erdoğan's outburst at Davos in January 2009 - the startpoint to the current Turkish-Israeli rift) was one episode depicting Israeli Mossad agents stealing Turkish babies. The soap had come under earlier criticism of anti-semitism when it depicted a Jewish-American doctor harvesting body organs from captured Turkish soldiers in Iraq and selling them in Tel Aviv. Israel's foreign ministry, run by the far-right Avigdor Lieberman, later handled the situation very undiplomatically (and stupidly) by publicly humiliating the Turkish ambassador in Israel, resulting in a worsening of relations with its closest Muslim ally. As often is the case in such pathetic acts, the Israeli deputy foreign minister's farcical actions of oneupmanship did not lead to any improvement of the situation, nor did the Turkish authorities apply the extra censorship requested. On the other hand, by actually making an issue out of it only caused Kurtlar Vadisi to gain more viewership especially from secular Turks who otherwise were not watching the soap as they were well aware of its pro-Islamist/populist tone.

Nevertheless, the future looks bright for Turkey and its greater aspirations of cultural expansion, thanks to the glitz. With the EU in economic crisis, membership into the Christian European club seems unlikely, but Turkey's economy and confidence is growing without it. It remains to be seen whether Turkey can capitalise more from the soap opera success in opening the minds of the Balkans. But, if so many centuries of animosity can help cast off the image of the bad Turk in the Balkans, then what if Israel were to have a chance at watching a Turkish soap (other than Kurtlar Vadisi)? Perhaps these once friends now enemies could, like in the soaps, have a happy ending.

Lady Gaga is 'copying Serbian pop star'

That's according to the Serbian trash media. In a sense of triumphal and parochical chest-beating that they are the source and avanguard of pop creativity (that makes them 'good'), Serbian tabloids are claiming that it's no coincidence that photos of Lady Gaga dressed as a man that recently appeared in Japanese Vogue is further evidence that the alleged hermaphrodite is copying local 'skandalmajstor', gay icon and pop star Jelena Karleuša's style. Here are the photos for you to decide:

Just in case you are wondering as the look between the two is so uncanny, Jelena Karleuša (commonly referred to as 'JK' in ex-Yugoslavia) is on the left, and 'Lejdi Gaga' is on the right. Honestly, the Serb press obviously has never seen iconic images of Marlene Dietrich before. So much for 'originality'.

The comparison between JK and LG was made earlier this year by celebrity blogger Perez Hilton, only he had it the other way around from the Serbian gutter press on who's copying whom. That Perez Hilton was blogging about Serbian pop stars was highly reported in the Serb press, again with a grand sense of achievement and Western recognition this supposedly entails, though the tabloid journos didn't seem to notice that Hilton was not full of praise for the local star.

So who is JK then? Born in 1978 in Belgrade, she was groomed by her showbiz manager mother Divna into becoming a Turbofolk star, releasing her first song in 1994 at the tender age of 16. Showing a maturity beyond her teenage years, she quickly churned out some moderately successful records in the mid-90s. By her third album in 1997, she set her perennial style of often bizarre haircuts (she had a period when she had canary yellow short hair), provocative stage costumes and a pathological sense for lying, showboating and vicious attacks on other singers. She has built her musical career almost exclusively through cover versions of mainly Greek and Turkish pop songs, though recently she has pillaged further afield by singing Bollywood, Arabic, Israeli and even Uzbek hits with Serbian lyrics - overall, very lazy, cynical and ultimately cheap path to success, and hardly the sign of creative originality. A media astute person who rarely is out of the limelight, she is equally reviled and adored, and to some she's the personification of all things bad about Serbian society in the noughties, much like Ceca was of the 90s. Her marriage to the Bojan Karić, son of Serbia's richest man, in 2004 only lasted 4 months. She is now married to former Werder Bremen, now Portsmouth footballer Duško Tolić, who is father of her two daughters, Atina and Nika, who were born a year apart on the same day. An example of JK's crass need for media attention is that she forwarded photos of her daughter then 6 month old daughter Atina on a laptop computer which JK claimed she had bought for her so she could familiarise herself with technology as young as possible. JK's latest crowing glory was the staging of a spectacular, high-budget concert in Belgrade, much to the delight of her fans, and especially her large gay following - the photo above makes that obvious.

One thing I do have to say is that she is no dumb blonde, as she displays in this interview for Al Jazeera

Lady Gaga and JK do share many similarities. All things aside, they both entertain and that's what we want. So let's enjoy this Friday evening with JK singing one of her hits (and one of my favourite songs) at her Belgrade concert this year. Enjoy!

Naomi Campbell to face War Crimes Tribunal

Finally, justice! Hehe, well, not exactly. La Campbell herself won't be accountable for her many crimes, none of which have been classed as war crimes (yet), but she was recipient of some pretty impressive bling from former Liberian president and warlord Charles Taylor at a party at Nelson Mandela's residence in 1997. Mia Farrow has the photo to prove it!

The diamond trade fuelled the armed conflicts in African countries such as Liberia, Sierra Leone, Angola and Congo, bringing untold misery to generations of Africans, untold wealth to a minute number of unscrupulous arms dealers, power to warlords and the destruction of many childhoods as these warlords took to recruiting ever younger child soldiers. However, no sufficient evidence has been presented showing that Taylor was in anyway involved in the blood diamond trade, but it's believed that after a long period of persuasion, Campbell's testimony of receiving a blood diamond will help convict the former warlord.

Taylor's fall from grace was quite spectacular, coming within the same ambit as the likes of Osama Bin Laden and Manuel Noriega - US darlings turned bad. In the early 1990s, I remember Charles Taylor, whose background is Amero-Liberian (the Liberian elite, descendants of freed American slaves that returned to Africa and created Liberia in 1822) and had spent considerable time in the USA, being presented in a sort of swashbuckling-cum-gangsta glam way. In other words, he wore the white hat, by virtue that he had an American connection and was the natural showman - pluses in grabbing US media attention. Eventually winning power, his image couldn't have been more opposite a decade later, when suddenly he was evil incarnated, complete with Libyan backing and training (that was left out before). What I see here is that the US were taken in by Taylor's charm in the beginning and the misguided belief that being from the Amero-Liberian elite he would ensure that the previous cozy relationship Liberia had with the US would resume, that once they belatedly realised that they were blind to reality, they have decided to take it out on Taylor. This is not to say that I think Taylor is a victim - far from it! What I would like to see is the many other Charles Taylors out there receive the same treatment for the sake of justice for the many who suffered in Africa. I just hope that the emphasis on 'getting' Taylor is because he is a villain for the things he has done and not because he double-crossed the American establishment.

Mark the 29th July in your diary as that's the day La Campbell faces the War Crimes Tribunal. The publicity will do the Tribunal good as it has been losing its purpose and support, and subsequently its funding from donor countries, for years now.

'Think of the children!'

What is the limit when it comes to showing male sexual organs in easily-accessible celebrity magazines? Well, in Serbia there seems to be none. 'Svet', the most read celebrity rag in ex-Yugoslavia has decided to print pictures of young pop singer Nikola Sarić Sajko, a recent contestant in a Pop Idol-style show, stroking the chicken without any strategically located censor bubbles or blurring. Definitely not the type of stuff to be opened at work or in front of the kiddies, but hey, in Serbia it's perfectly fine, so it seems.

The best out of the ensuing comments: Given that he's a Serb, I was expecting him to be a little bigger.

Srebrenica and Bratunac - how the Bosnian war is still seen differently by each of the sides involved

15 years ago 7000 Bosniak men of 'military age', meaning 15 years upwards, were killed by Bosnian Serb forces over a period of 5 days, marking the worst massacre in European history since World War 2. Commemoration of the event is usually marked with the burial of newly identified bodies. Most significantly is that this year the president of Serbia, Boris Tadić paid tribute to the victims by his presence at the ceremony held yesterday, inciting mixed feelings from Bosniaks and Serbs. Nevertheless, the Serbian government's acknowledgement of the atrocity is important for the region and avoiding a repeat of such madness ever happening again.

Unfortunately, Tadić and his brave actions are being overshadowed with Serbs who are focusing on other events. While Bosniaks and the World draw attention on the 11th July to events that happened in Sreberenica in 1995, many Serbs place greater focus on a massacre of 70 Serbs by Bosniaks in villages around the town of Bratunac, on the 12th July 1992. In commemoration ceremonies mirroring those held down the road in Srebrenica the day before, local Serb leaders strived to point out what they see as 'selective justice'. Bosnian Serb president Milorad Dodik said in a speech that he doesn't dispute that Bosniaks perished in Srebrenica, but his main point is that if the Srebrenica massacre is considered 'genocide', then equal footing should be given to what happened to Serbs in the area in 1992. Meanwhile, Serbian media on the whole has given scant reporting about the 15th anniversary of Srebrenica, instead highlighting how over 3000 Serbs were killed in the whole region of Bosnia bordering Serbia during the war.

What is important and, ultimately, worrying is what is not reported and how the 'facts' are presented. Essentially, in the Serb view of events, we have the persistent elements of victimhood, one of the core natures of the Serbian national psyche, and injustice perpetuated. Many Serbs saw, and still see, themselves as hopeless and sole victims of the Balkan Wars, like they perceive to have been in all past Balkan conflicts. They believe the World is against them and that noone understands or cares for their precarious plight. The sense that justice is selective is consistent in their belief that there is a International War Crimes Tribunal bias against Serbs (far more Serbs have been convicted for war crimes than any other Balkan nationality). However, this thinking is as delusional as their view on events.

What is hypocritical is how the Serbs accuse the World of 'selective justice' when they themselves are as selective on their view of the past. The fact constantly rammed by the Serbian media is that 3000 Serbs died during the war in the region around Srebrenica. What they conveniently leave out is that this number of deaths was spread out over a 4.5 year period. Now compare that to 7000 Bosniaks killed by Serbs in Srebrenica over 5 days in July 1995! Dodik, in his speech yesterday, alluded that the only reason why Srebrenica happened, whose number of deaths he believes is greatly exaggerated, was only in response to the earlier genocidal actions of the Bosniaks in 1992 against Serbs. So, harking to a primitive eye-for-an-eye ideal, what happened in Srebrenica was just 'self-defence'. But here the Serbs yet again display a hypocritical stance. As I reported the other day involving a drunk Serb climbing a minaret in the nearby Bosnian city of Zvornik, the Serbs, led by paramilitary thugs like the infamous Arkan, successfully 'ethnically cleansed' some cities of eastern Bosnia of Bosniaks in April-May 1992, 2 months before the massacre of Serbs in the area by Bosniak paramilitaries led by Naser Orić. Many innocent civilians of all nationalities were killed in these actions, such as the 31 Bosniaks in Bratunac killed on the 12th May 1992, but mentioning this is not good for the psyche and tarnishes what would be otherwise the victimhood status that many Serbs continue to believe and have as justification for consequent actions that, in all purposes, are best described as war crimes.

What is worrying about this is that it was this type of historical cherry-picking and black-and-white victimhood which led the Balkans into war in the first place in the early 1990s. That 15 years after such senseless destruction that the fundamentals which caused it have yet to be learnt does not provide a good perspective for the future. As is often the case in the Balkans, as time goes past, the finer details of such artrocities are blurred and embellished, an element of myth is added along with a growing sense of rage and revenge that ultimately is encouraged and exploited by unscrupulous types fuelled foremost by self-interest.

What needs to be done is that everyone must recognise that everyone suffered - parents lost children, children - parents, lives destroyed, regardless of nationality. As the first foreign minister of Macedonia said to Belgian TV in 1993, what the Balkans produces excessively is history and every Balkan nation claims that history has not been too kind to them. What I say is that all the Balkans, not just the Serbs, needs to get over the whole victim complex, admit that everyone was guilty in some way, build a new bridge over the River Drina and move on. To repeat the same mistakes as before will only lead to a path of what should far too familiar destruction.

To give a better insight into the madness of the Bosnian War, a great book to read is 'They Wouldn't Hurt A Fly' by Croatian writer Slavenka Drakulić. The chapter about the Srebrenica massacre from the eyewitness report by one of the reluctant Serb soldiers ordered to kill then is frightening but human.