Portugal - Homens da Luta - A luta é alegria
First impression - WTF? I know that Portugal is in economic dire straits and wouldn't be able to afford to host their first ever Eurovision (after trying for almost 50 years), but they couldn't find a better act to make sure, 100%, that they will not win. However... just like with Russia's outwardly err but brilliantly subtle masterpiece last year at Eurovision satirising the gysy romantic fascination of the Russian intelligensia, after I found out more about the talented Portuguese performers and song about 'the joy of the struggle' I realised this is not a novelty act but a deep yet endearing satire of the joy and nature of Portuguese protest movements.The performers display the same exuberance and immense capacity for song that many demonstrations and their demostrators in Portugal possess. Now this is a sentiment that should be understood by people in other southern European countries, but like Russia last year, without some knoweldge to the depth of this well-tuned act, the message and satire is lost. But still, I hope that their joie de vivre is infectuous enough to get Europe voting.
I should also add that it's fitting that Portugal is sending such a song to Eurovision considering that the cue for the start of Portugal's Carnation Revolution (the protest music and imagery from that historic event being the source for the Homens da Luta) was when the country's entry at the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest appeared on TV!
Back to 2011, I say 'alegria é luta'!
Spain - Lucia Pérez - Que me quiten lo bailao
So reminds of Portugal's entry from 2009. I was in Spain after this song was selected and the gays were pissed off. Not a good sign... or...? It's too light for my liking and I don't see it making a splash. Lucia, you'll just have to keep on dancing.
France - Amaury Vassili - Sognu
The hot favourite, would you believe. It's the pretenious number of the year. You know the type. The people who think this is great are not opera listeners (true opera listeners detest 'popra') and more often than not are loving this song more out of attempt to make themselves believe that they have 'kulcha'. Well, you don't. If this song succeeds as it is predicted to do, then it will be a triumph of the type of self-seeking cultural justification that saw Justin Bieber lose the 'Best New Artist' grammy to an obscure jazz singer or the 2005 'Best Film' to the wanky 'Crash' over a classic that is 'Brokeback Mountain'. The people who love this song are caught in a self-defeating and shallow existence needing to deny the fact they actually prefer the crass elements Eurovision is famous for. Instead, they are trying ever so hard to fawn appreciation for a song in a type of supposedly 'sofistikatud' music their detractors are perceived to prefer. In other words, people who are ashamed of their true selves are liking this song not because they actually like it but because they think the cultural snobs will appreciate them more for them liking it, or at least convince themselves that that is the case. Well, get over it guys! Just embrace that you love non-pretentious crap over pretentious dribble. Opera never does well in the end at Eurovision anyway. But then again, I thought that a German, silver-spoon pop brat singing a rip-off Lilly Allen/Kate Nash track in faux Cockney wouldn't amount to much, only for her to go on and win the bloody event (and convincingly). So what do I know? Funny too that the French conveniently picked Corsican, which is a dialect of Italian, for this 'popra' number.
Belgium - Witloof Bay - With Love Baby
What a motley bunch. Did they meet at the bus stop on their commute to their desk jobs? Or was it at their Bible Study class? And what's with the beatboxing? That alone deserves null points. OK, I'm sure their a lovely bunch of people, but surely they should know that a capella just does not work at Eurovision. Hang your head in shame, Belgium.
Netherlands - 3JS - Never Alone
Bo-ring!
Iceland - Sjonni's Friends - Coming Home
Being 'nice' does work. But nice boys and girls never come first. In case you don't know (and I'm sure most don't) this song's composer, Sjonni, tragically died just days before he was going to appear with it at the Iceland selection final. Those Icelanders did the 'nice' thing and felt sympathy for his 6 mates who decided to perform this song in Sjonni's honour (hence the group's name). Well, the Eurovision audience will have 38 seconds or so to be explained all this. Will the sympathy last? Probably not. It's a cruel world.
Ireland - Jedward - Lipstick
Yes, it's the Grime twins (I did say it was Eurovision's year of the twins)
For those in the UK and Ireland who thought that these guys who just disappear under an Irish rock after their infamous introduction to the world through X-Factor 2 years ago, well, sorry to disappoint. Louie Walsh's darlings are unleashing themselves to an unsuspecting European audience in their quest for world domination. 'Am I heading for a car crash', sing the terrible twin brats. Some would say yes, especially if their back-up singers play the ultimate cruel trick and decide to let the boys carry the tune instead. Now the noise they would create would prompt the neighbours to call the police and even get the war crimes tribunal in the Hague to issue some new indictments. No matter what the ney-sayers have to say, this song is good and catchy. Jedward themselves will appeal to the (televoting) kids of Europe like flies to shit, they are fun fun fun and really couldn't give a rat's arse of what some blogger in tracky-dacks that earns a fraction of a fraction of they earn has to say. Jedward for the final, and definite top 10!
But I have saved the winner until last
UK - Blue - I Can
Finally, the BBC got their shit together and have sent an act that Europe knows. Blue were huge in the early naughties, thought not my cup of Earl Grey. Considering that their nemesis Westlife have reformed and the success of Take That (take 2), it was only a matter of time that the Blue boys would do the same so that when individual members piss at ATMs or want us to think about the dead elephants that these world-shattering events at least will actually make it into the London tabloids. The song just says 'winner'.
OK, so the cynic in me was the first to ring a bell when I heard that Blue was representing the UK i.e. the UK wants to win. Under the current Conservative/Liberal Democrat government, due to the supposed bareness of the government's coffers, the UK has no money. Still, miraculously, the UK has the dosh for a royal wedding and for lobbing expensive missles at Libya, but the new facilities for all those schools in Labour-voting areas will just have to miss out due to the huge cuts being made to social services for all those 'lazy people out there'. As the cuts begin the bite, anger amongst the classes most directly affected will grow. So what can a government do to placate them? It could stop the cuts to essential services and get big business to pay the tax they are supposed to be paying, or, better still, let's get the bread and fireworks out. The UK government has gone for option 2. Kate and Wills just got hitched and the UK taxpayer, who surprisingly did not receive an invite to Westminster Abbey, ended up with the 34 million pound bill. Nevertheless, the wedding was heavily promoted in the media to get at least part of the UK populace in a patriotic/celebrity frenzy. Now, don't you go putting those Union Jacks away as yet as next year there is the diamond jubilee (60 years of the reign of Queen Elizabeth II) followed closely by the Olympics. Just to stretch the flag waving and to distract the masses from the cuts to services such as public health and education, I feel that the government would love to add a Eurovision win this year. Picture it... UK 2012... Eurovision, Jubilee, Olympics. Meanwhile, hospitals are closed down and privatised at bargain prices for big business while health costs skyrocket. But who cares - we have Eurovision to host! So proud!
OK, enough of the cynicism. I think this song has it all to win it. And the guys know who butter their bread by doing a nude spread for a gay mag. Here's a clip:
Despite some of my misgivings as to the rationale behind the current UK push to win the contest, I stil hope the UK does win it. I would be very happy if Azerbaijan wins it as their desperation to host the contest is really annoying the living hell out of everyone, and that is never a good look. In any case, I am preparing myself to be totally shocked by the event. Happy Eurovision everyone!
First impression - WTF? I know that Portugal is in economic dire straits and wouldn't be able to afford to host their first ever Eurovision (after trying for almost 50 years), but they couldn't find a better act to make sure, 100%, that they will not win. However... just like with Russia's outwardly err but brilliantly subtle masterpiece last year at Eurovision satirising the gysy romantic fascination of the Russian intelligensia, after I found out more about the talented Portuguese performers and song about 'the joy of the struggle' I realised this is not a novelty act but a deep yet endearing satire of the joy and nature of Portuguese protest movements.The performers display the same exuberance and immense capacity for song that many demonstrations and their demostrators in Portugal possess. Now this is a sentiment that should be understood by people in other southern European countries, but like Russia last year, without some knoweldge to the depth of this well-tuned act, the message and satire is lost. But still, I hope that their joie de vivre is infectuous enough to get Europe voting.
I should also add that it's fitting that Portugal is sending such a song to Eurovision considering that the cue for the start of Portugal's Carnation Revolution (the protest music and imagery from that historic event being the source for the Homens da Luta) was when the country's entry at the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest appeared on TV!
Back to 2011, I say 'alegria é luta'!
Spain - Lucia Pérez - Que me quiten lo bailao
So reminds of Portugal's entry from 2009. I was in Spain after this song was selected and the gays were pissed off. Not a good sign... or...? It's too light for my liking and I don't see it making a splash. Lucia, you'll just have to keep on dancing.
France - Amaury Vassili - Sognu
The hot favourite, would you believe. It's the pretenious number of the year. You know the type. The people who think this is great are not opera listeners (true opera listeners detest 'popra') and more often than not are loving this song more out of attempt to make themselves believe that they have 'kulcha'. Well, you don't. If this song succeeds as it is predicted to do, then it will be a triumph of the type of self-seeking cultural justification that saw Justin Bieber lose the 'Best New Artist' grammy to an obscure jazz singer or the 2005 'Best Film' to the wanky 'Crash' over a classic that is 'Brokeback Mountain'. The people who love this song are caught in a self-defeating and shallow existence needing to deny the fact they actually prefer the crass elements Eurovision is famous for. Instead, they are trying ever so hard to fawn appreciation for a song in a type of supposedly 'sofistikatud' music their detractors are perceived to prefer. In other words, people who are ashamed of their true selves are liking this song not because they actually like it but because they think the cultural snobs will appreciate them more for them liking it, or at least convince themselves that that is the case. Well, get over it guys! Just embrace that you love non-pretentious crap over pretentious dribble. Opera never does well in the end at Eurovision anyway. But then again, I thought that a German, silver-spoon pop brat singing a rip-off Lilly Allen/Kate Nash track in faux Cockney wouldn't amount to much, only for her to go on and win the bloody event (and convincingly). So what do I know? Funny too that the French conveniently picked Corsican, which is a dialect of Italian, for this 'popra' number.
Belgium - Witloof Bay - With Love Baby
What a motley bunch. Did they meet at the bus stop on their commute to their desk jobs? Or was it at their Bible Study class? And what's with the beatboxing? That alone deserves null points. OK, I'm sure their a lovely bunch of people, but surely they should know that a capella just does not work at Eurovision. Hang your head in shame, Belgium.
Netherlands - 3JS - Never Alone
Bo-ring!
Iceland - Sjonni's Friends - Coming Home
Being 'nice' does work. But nice boys and girls never come first. In case you don't know (and I'm sure most don't) this song's composer, Sjonni, tragically died just days before he was going to appear with it at the Iceland selection final. Those Icelanders did the 'nice' thing and felt sympathy for his 6 mates who decided to perform this song in Sjonni's honour (hence the group's name). Well, the Eurovision audience will have 38 seconds or so to be explained all this. Will the sympathy last? Probably not. It's a cruel world.
Ireland - Jedward - Lipstick
Yes, it's the Grime twins (I did say it was Eurovision's year of the twins)
For those in the UK and Ireland who thought that these guys who just disappear under an Irish rock after their infamous introduction to the world through X-Factor 2 years ago, well, sorry to disappoint. Louie Walsh's darlings are unleashing themselves to an unsuspecting European audience in their quest for world domination. 'Am I heading for a car crash', sing the terrible twin brats. Some would say yes, especially if their back-up singers play the ultimate cruel trick and decide to let the boys carry the tune instead. Now the noise they would create would prompt the neighbours to call the police and even get the war crimes tribunal in the Hague to issue some new indictments. No matter what the ney-sayers have to say, this song is good and catchy. Jedward themselves will appeal to the (televoting) kids of Europe like flies to shit, they are fun fun fun and really couldn't give a rat's arse of what some blogger in tracky-dacks that earns a fraction of a fraction of they earn has to say. Jedward for the final, and definite top 10!
But I have saved the winner until last
UK - Blue - I Can
Finally, the BBC got their shit together and have sent an act that Europe knows. Blue were huge in the early naughties, thought not my cup of Earl Grey. Considering that their nemesis Westlife have reformed and the success of Take That (take 2), it was only a matter of time that the Blue boys would do the same so that when individual members piss at ATMs or want us to think about the dead elephants that these world-shattering events at least will actually make it into the London tabloids. The song just says 'winner'.
OK, so the cynic in me was the first to ring a bell when I heard that Blue was representing the UK i.e. the UK wants to win. Under the current Conservative/Liberal Democrat government, due to the supposed bareness of the government's coffers, the UK has no money. Still, miraculously, the UK has the dosh for a royal wedding and for lobbing expensive missles at Libya, but the new facilities for all those schools in Labour-voting areas will just have to miss out due to the huge cuts being made to social services for all those 'lazy people out there'. As the cuts begin the bite, anger amongst the classes most directly affected will grow. So what can a government do to placate them? It could stop the cuts to essential services and get big business to pay the tax they are supposed to be paying, or, better still, let's get the bread and fireworks out. The UK government has gone for option 2. Kate and Wills just got hitched and the UK taxpayer, who surprisingly did not receive an invite to Westminster Abbey, ended up with the 34 million pound bill. Nevertheless, the wedding was heavily promoted in the media to get at least part of the UK populace in a patriotic/celebrity frenzy. Now, don't you go putting those Union Jacks away as yet as next year there is the diamond jubilee (60 years of the reign of Queen Elizabeth II) followed closely by the Olympics. Just to stretch the flag waving and to distract the masses from the cuts to services such as public health and education, I feel that the government would love to add a Eurovision win this year. Picture it... UK 2012... Eurovision, Jubilee, Olympics. Meanwhile, hospitals are closed down and privatised at bargain prices for big business while health costs skyrocket. But who cares - we have Eurovision to host! So proud!
OK, enough of the cynicism. I think this song has it all to win it. And the guys know who butter their bread by doing a nude spread for a gay mag. Here's a clip:
Despite some of my misgivings as to the rationale behind the current UK push to win the contest, I stil hope the UK does win it. I would be very happy if Azerbaijan wins it as their desperation to host the contest is really annoying the living hell out of everyone, and that is never a good look. In any case, I am preparing myself to be totally shocked by the event. Happy Eurovision everyone!
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