Cheonan sinking - doubts

Thank you Gary for this. Here is a very interesting documentary investigating the flaws and inconsistencies in the evidence and 'facts' gathered surrounding this year's sinking of the South Korean ship Cheonan off an island adjacent to the North Korean west coast. Rather disturbing details are given showing how this sinking cannot possibly be the work of a North Korean torpedo and of the political maneuvering by the south Korean government to ensure that everything conforms to their political agenda. This film gives a very interesting perspective into what is actually happening on the Korean peninsula. Though the shelling of the island of Yeongpyong last month has been portrayed as the evil action of the rogue North Korean leadership, the latest statement by Pyongyang saying that retaliation to the latest provocative joint US/south Korean live fire drills a few days ago was 'just not worth it' shows that DPR Korea not only knows what really is happening but that they are actually not the ones who are itching for conflict. It must be noted that last month's shelling was in response to south Korean live fire drills carried out deliberately and provocatively close to North Korean shore. So why must the south Koreans conduct more drills then unless they want to build up tension? The north Koreans are routinely reviled as 'unpredictable', which really means that the West is frustrated that they are not the ones calling the shots. The north Koreans are Machiavellian in their planning and actions, and they need to be in order to survive. It can be safely said that the West is pissed off that their decades-long predictions that North Korea is on the verge of collapse have failed to eventuate, and look very unlikely to happen any time soon. Though any war in Korea would mean mass causalities, widespread destruction and a huge negative effect on the World's economy, there are many in south Korea who see that they need to take over the North, not least based on Christian fundamentalist reasons - in order to spread the word of God and Jesus to those godless north Koreans. Hence the latest (non) news report of a Christmas tree near the DMZ. Anyway, I'll let you see the film to make your own decision. What is good to see is that the south Korean tendency for activism is still alive and kicking.

World Admits to Anti-Serb Conspiracy!

Report from Serbian 'news' website http://www.njuz.net/

WORLD ADMITS TO ANTI-SERB CONSPIRACY

NEW YORK, 8. December 2010, (Njuz) – A large number of world leaders, thinkers and religious figureheads at an extraordinary sitting of the United Nations in New York yesterday, in a joint statement, admitted of the existence of a global conspiracy against Serbs and the Serbian people.

This extraordinary act by the world’s leaders is an attempt to manage the diplomatic fallout which could arise from the revelation of confidential diplomatic cables published by WikiLeaks. Tom Cruise, who read the statement out in front of the world’s leaders, stated that for the sake of quicker conciliation between the Serbs and the whole world, it would be best that the Serbs hear now that a conspiracy exists rather than them finding out in a few months time through leaked diplomatic cables.

The statement points out that information from WikiLeaks would reveal that there is hardly any public or secret organisation not involved in a conspiracy against the Serbs. Whether it be the gay lobby, America or the Jehovah’s Witnesses, through to the Vatican and the Freemasons and all the way to the anti-smoking lobby, NATO and the Jews, all of these organisations, through their united efforts and self-interest, have for centuries attempted, and to a degree succeeded, in obstructing the freedom and uniqueness of the Serbian being.

The activities of these organisations and informal associations have primarily been geared towards making the lives of Serbia’s citizens, ever since the country’s foundation in the eight century AD, as difficult as possible. The only difference involved is that some individuals and associations, especially the six Jewish families that rule the world, act out of personal gain, while others out of malice, such as Osama bin Laden. A few organisations, such as for instance the Knights Templar and the Illuminati, have involved themselves in this conspiracy “out of the pure fun of it all”.

As we have found out off the record, the secret cables will show how in concealing the conspiracy the whole world used various means, most commonly making up events which sooner or later would ward off the suspicion of Serbian conspiracy theorists that a conspiracy exists at all. For example, in order to divert attention from the anti-Serb conspiracy, World Wars 1 and 2 were started, Kennedy was shot, the Chilean miners were stuck, the Chinese economic revolution was concocted, the Ramayana and Mahabharata epics were devised and ‘the Beatles’ was formed.

All of this and many more other events have been sufficient enough to successfully hide for thousands of years the coordinated conspiratorial activities on first glance of various activist groups such as Catholic and Muslim fundamentalists and followers of Tom Cruise, the Scientologists.

There has yet to be an official reaction from Serbia to this statement, however the Serbian Association of Conspiracy Theorists claim that this admittance “is the work of the Croats who are just waiting for the right moment to denigrate Serbia”.

By the way, http://www.njuz.net/ is a Serbian equivalent to the Onion or the Daily Mash. Scary how many Serbs (and people in the Balkans) though would believe this report. Just replace 'Serb' and 'Serbia' with 'Croat/Croatia', 'Macedonia/Macedonians', 'Bulgaria/Bulgarians', 'Greeks/Greece' etc. and whammo, instant believers.

Desperate Dictator Housewives - Belarus's Galina Lukashenko

Last time on 'Desperate Central Asia Housewives', the ever smiling Mehriban Aliyeva was rumoured to be playing 'hide the sausage' with the king of the comb-over, Belarus's 'Uncle Leo from Seinfeld' lookalike president, Aleksandr Lukashenko. Seeing that he is up for re-election today and has been in the news lately, not least due to a new WikiLeaks-published leaked US State Department cable, lets delve into the weird and wonderful world of the Lukashenkos.

20 years ago there was this huge apartment complex known as the USSR consisting of 15 units of various sizes. Actually it was 1 big house with 14 adjoining, comparatively tiny units. Though in name they were owner-occupied, the big house actually controlled the whole place. When things started to unravel, the 14 adjoining units one-by-one took over the deeds to their unit, though no matter what, they were still physically attached. The Aliyevs, owners of one of the scruffier units towards the back, was having fights with the neighbouring Armenian unit who claimed 20% of theirs. On the other side of the building, there was one unit which was a bit dull but was at the entrance to the whole complex from the richer neighbouring and ever expanding complex called the EU. This was the Belarus unit. It was practically forced to take ownership of its apartment, even though the tenants were on the whole quite fine with having the main house being the main guy. The old fittings were renovated by bringing back the original white and red finish, but things just weren't how they were used to. Along comes a collective farm manager to bring back the good old days when the place was in a red and green finish. The tenants loved this idea so they made him head of the house. He runs the house like he did his collective farm.

That's the rise of Aleksandr Lukashenko in a nutshell. Since 1994 Belarus has been his solid domain. According to the West, he is 'bizarre' and 'disturbed', despised by his people, brutally crushes his opposition and sees himself eventually leading a reformed USSR. The West has even given him a catchy throwaway soundbite: 'Europe's Last Dictator'. He and 41 other high Belarusian officials are barred entry into the EU and US too. Lukashenko, or 'batka' (an affectionate term meaning 'father' but original meaning 'big brother'... yes, the irony) has basically made Belarus into a post-Gorbachev USSR. Russian instead of Belarusian is the official language, and the Russians were quite happy with the get up. They continued providing subsidised raw materials keeping the heavy industrial base of Belarus going, plus the flat country was the transit point to Europe for its huge oil and gas supplies. But as in all friendships there have been some row times. Moscow got cross that Belarus was using the cheap Russian oil it receives to refine and then sell it at much higher international prices for megaprofit. The Russians stopped the gravy train and then things went downhill between the two countries, though the extent that this happened was probably not as drastic as the West portrayed it. Quietly, the West pounced on this opportunity and started currying up to Belarus in what they called 'change through engagement', though this is now being presented that Belarus was sucking up to the West. Essentially, Belarus is in a powerful position. If the West wants ample supplies of gas to come from Russia, as the main transit country Belarus needs to be placated.

The Collective Farm Boss turn Prez Aleksandr Lukashenko

So what is the reality then? Well, the West has it wrong with the Belarusian mood as the majority genuinely support him. They don't even need stuffed ballot boxes (well, not too many) for that, even though European monitors always claim that elections in Belarus are not 'free and fair' (but then again, they claimed blatantly fraudulent elections in Kosovo and Macedonia in the past to be 'free and fair'). The EU has even tried to bribe Belarus by offering a 3 billion euro aid package, so long as the elections are 'free and fair' by their standards. In other words, if the Western-backed opposition wins, then the elections will be deemed 'free and fair', but they won't if Lukashenko wins.

What the West fails to understand, or more likely don't want to understand, is that the Belarusians have taken a 'stand back and observe' approach. The change from state socialism to free-for-all capitalism in Eastern Europe has brought misery and poverty to many people, while many of the former nomenklatura immensely profiting from the experience. Belarusians, having experienced for themselves in the early 1990s what capitalism entailed (i.e. immense corruption and chaos) did not want it. So in 1994, when Lukashenko ran for president on the nostalgia ticket that he would bring back USSR-style stability, the Belarusians voted en-masse for it. They even voted for the old Soviet iconography to come back, to provide at least the signs of past certainties. Lukashenko eventually gained the right to go for president unlimited times, which in countries like the UK was seen as a firm example that he intends being a dictator for life (never minding that in the UK prime ministers don't have a fixed number of terms). But why then is Lukashenko popular? Simple - he pays pensions and wages on time! This is a factor unfathomable for people in the West. Belarusians are well aware that in neighbouring countries like Russia and Ukraine people have had their pensions, benefits and services drastically cut and workers are often not paid for months or years! By having Lukashenko and his neo-USSR system in power, these phenomena just do not not happen in Belarus, thus guaranteeing that he firmly keeps the top job. This is also why no 'colour revolution' has ever taken hold in Belarus - the Belarusians observed their neighbours and not only saw how the promises of a new age of prosperity and transparency failed to appear, but that their living standard was still hopelessly low. Hence the Belarusians hold on to their system, much to the chagrin of the West who would prefer that they called the shots.

Belarus's opposition gets comparatively a lot of press in the West. However, in Belarus they are out of touch, fractious, ineffective and hardly proposing a well-defined agenda which will guarantee a prosperous future. It's no wonder they

Whoops! Damn wind!

Now I know what you're asking - so what about the wife? Does Mr Lukashenko have a supposedly 'humble but sophisticated' show pony with political ambitions who does 'charity work' while pocketing some of the loot on the side and making sure that her kids and family have diamonds for breakfast? Well, no. Unlike many of the other wives in the apartment complex formerly known as the USSR, she is far, far away from the limelight. So much so that there are wild rumours as to her whereabouts. One has it that Galina Lukashenko 'toils as a sort of milkmaid, in official obscurity, at a remote dairy farm deep in the forests of Belarus'. I just think that rumour doesn't do any cliché any justice - if there is going to be any rumour, then let's go to town on this - She should be in a salt mine drunk on vodka while singing the Volga Boat Men song.

However, I did find this bit of gossip about the lovely but mysterious Galina.

It's not clear how Galina met Belarus' future president, why the two decided to wed, or why Lukashenko doesn't get a divorce. During his 16 years as president, Galina has never once been seen at his side. She doesn't have Lukashenko's direct phone number and must schedule a visit through official channels if she wants to see him. Things took a bad turn when she unwittingly entertained a few reporters with stories about how much she loved to milk her favorite cow, Milka, and even handed out photographs of the act. Her husband was livid. To prevent future negative PR, Lukashenko confiscated his wife's cow, ripped out her garden, erected a fence around her decrepit wooden hut, and placed a police observation post nearby to keep an eye on her. Other than cultivating a strawberry patch, Galina has been forbidden by presidential decree to do any sort of farming. Lukashenko visits her on her birthday sometimes, bearing gifts such as a microwave or coffeemaker. Her mother and sister live next door, while it's rumored that Lukashenko lives with another woman.

Galina and Milka the cow

Take it as you will. I did find this piece of news in Russian stating that Galina was given an award earlier this year by the government for her work in the Shklovskii region, but here details as to what is the status between Aleksandr and his wife are not given. It just says that unlike other first ladies she keeps out of the public limelight and doesn't even appear with the Belarusian president at official functions.

Lukashenko surrounded by his sons Viktor and Dmitry (behind) and holding Nikolai's hand. The Khrushchev suit is big in Belarus!

But I hear you saying: so what about any kids who are now in positions of power and wealth and ready to take over from daddy when the fateful day comes? Alas, they do exist. Lukashenko has three sons. The two eldest, Viktor and Dmitry, are often seen with 'batka' and have done a little too well. Viktor is his daddy's 'national security aide' so he gets to go around and be important. But the real scandal is the third son - Nikolai, born in 2004. He too now gets to be seen with his dad on special occasions, but the big question is - who is the mother? It definitely is not Galina. Speculation runs rife. Top of the list of suspected mamas for Nikolai is Lukashenko's personal doctor, Irina Abelskaya. Check her out...

Belarus, for all of its faults, is an example of that at least one part of Eastern Europe did not blindly follow the alluring path of free-for-all capitalism. Yes, Lukashenko is authoritarian and the system he has maintained is not perfect but we must respect the fact that a majority of Belarus's population do genuinely support him. While the media do play a role in encouraging this support, the fact that wages and pensions are paid and basic services are provided ensures a more satisfied population rather than one that can say whatever it wants (to a degree) but on an empty stomach and with very limited access to basic services. We as a society need to be aware that 'human rights' is more than just free speech (which we know really doesn't exists - see the WikiLeaks fallout) - they also include the rights to services, health care and a stable income, which means a decent life for all. Let's leave Belarus to decide what it wants.

Was Michael Moore's 'Sicko' banned in Cuba?

Well, according to a cable sent by officials at the US Special Interests Office in Havana, Cuba, published in the Guardian, it was banned from screening in Cuba as 'it painted such a "mythically" favourable picture of Cuba's healthcare system that the authorities feared it could lead to a popular backlash.' Of course, this has been picked up particularly by the right-wing media and immediately accepted as fact.

But is this actually the truth? According to Michael Moore, it's a load of crock! As Moore brilliantly stated on his blog, Sicko was shown on Cuban TV for everyone to see on 25 April 2008. Check out Moore's post here for full details. As Moore states, you'd think someone would have checked up with Cuba first to see whether this was actually the case. This is yet again proof that the leaked cables from Havana are full of information that the bosses in Washington would like to hear but have no reflection on reality. Those guys in Havana should get some tips off their colleagues then.

Desperate Dictator Housewives - Qatar's Sheikha Mozad

For the past few years, the eyes of the fashion world have been firmly focused on one particularly stylish and truly glamorous spouse of a head of state. No, I'm not talking about France's Carla Bruni, Spain's former talk-show host now queen-to-be Princess Leticia, the veggie-growing Michelle Obama or any of the gals previously mentioned on this blog. Take a look at the impeccable style of Qatar's Sheikha Mozad bint Nasser Al-Missned. Consistently voted one of the best dressed women in the world. Check out some of her haute couture...



Now, having seen her, let me tell you that she is 51 years old and, shocking as this may be considering her to-die-for figure, she has given birth to 7 children and is a grandmother! Yes, that's right, 7 kids have come out of that body. Amazing! She is the Jackie O of our age.

So who is Sheikha Mozad? Her highness was born in 1959 - her father being a minor royal. She met the future Emir of Qatar, Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani, while at university studying Sociology and married him at the age of 18. Unlike many of the other 'Desperate Dictator Housewives' already featured, there is no major age gap - only 7 years. Unlike most other wives of Arab monarchs, she has taken a very public role, involving herself in charity, promoting education and women's rights and chairing the Arab Democracy Foundation. She was also the public face of Qatar's successful bid to host the 2022 Football World Cup. But she sure knows how to dress. Oh, she's adorable, and so does the world think the same.

OK, let's see things here in perspective, shall we? Did I tell you that she is the second wife (out of three) for the Emir of Qatar? OK, before we apply any modern Western baggage here, it must be pointed out that unlike what opponents to gay marriage would like us to believe, 'marriage' until recently in most societies was not the independent union of a man and a woman under the grace of God but a strategic business agreement between two families. There was no 'love' - marriages were (and in many societies, still are) arranged. In the Emir of Qatar's case, considering his first and third wives are first cousins in a region where arrangements to marry relatives like these is common, I would say that this was arranged too in the interests of royal family internal politics and tradition (though the latter is a very vague concept that can be used to justify anything). However, I really don't wish to speculate here. What is for certain is that these cousin wives are not seen in public. In Sheikha Mozad's case, the relationship with the Emir is more in line with Western standards and notions of marriage, hence her public image, which in turn bolsters the modern and liberal cred for Qatar. Sheikha Mozad is the one that turns up at official functions with Emir and her alone, giving the Western-acceptable image that she is the only wife.

Qatar likes to convey the image of itself as a liberal country in a very conservative region. This plus its relentless campaign betraying an insecurity of identity to increase Qatar's worldwide stature far above its size has been part of the Emirate's investment of high earnings from its 250+ year supply of natural gas into developing business ventures, a successful international airline and the hosting of international sporting events. The icing of the cake was controversily winning the right to host the 2022 World Cup, even though Qatar as a country does not meet FIFA charter requirements for a host country with regard to human rights and discrimination, never has previously qualified for a World Cup, and proposed staging the event during the summer when temperatures reach 50C. Interestingly, FIFA is now pushing Qatar to move the event to the cooler winter. Hey FIFA, if this was a concern, then why award it to Qatar in the first place?

Qatar is also synonymous for being the base for Al-Jazeera, the Arabic, and now international, news station which revolutionised news reporting in the Arab world. In providing an 'Arab perspective' to news events, it also helped cultivate the image of Qatar as an open and civil society. However, a US State Department cable from 2009 claims that Qatar is using Al-Jazeera as a bargaining tool trading in positive reporting for concessions. This is hardly the action of a country promoting freedom of expression. Al-Jazeera English has also given air time to people claiming that WikiLeaks is a Mossad plot.

But is Qatar as liberal as its image? Actually, no. Despite Sheikha Mozad chairing a foundation spearheading democracy in the Arab world and hosting Al-Jazeera, Qatar itself is not a democracy. OK, much is made that it was the first place in the Gulf region to allow women to vote (in 1999 - hardly a leader as Lebanon granted the vote to women in 1952, with Israel before that) but only Qatari citizens (who make up a small percentage of the country's population) are allowed to vote, and no political activity or parties are allowed to function. It talks of 'making moves towards' becoming a constitutional monarchy, however there have been no tangible indications of such. Opponents to the Emir have been routinely arrested and a whole Qatari clan who opposed Al-Thani family rule were even stripped of citizenship on part of an alleged coup attempt. And even though Al-Jazeera is groundbreaking in providing non-censored and critical reports about other Arab governments, one of the conditions for its continued funding and base in Qatar is that there be no news critical of the Qatari government. Now that's blatant double standards and hardly the call sign of a liberal and democratic society.

As mentioned, despite going against its much vaunted principles, FIFA's decision to award Qatar the 2022 was controversial in that organisations such as Amnesty International have brought to the attention human rights abuses in the country. Women, homosexuals and foreigners have limited or no rights, without much recourse to justice by an independent judicial system. Sepp Blatter, FIFA chairman, hardly made things better when he 'joked' that gay football fans should 'refrain from sexual activities' while at the cup, in reference to homosexual acts being illegal in Qatar.

FIFA justified awarding the World Cup to Qatar, despite its small size and population, as a way of promoting football in the Middle East. So, in a way, it's not Qatar that is hosting the World Cup, but the Arab World. This perception is flawed as most Arabs don't look fondly towards the mega-rich Gulf state sell-outs whose autocratic rule and the lavish lifestyles of their ruling families contravene the most basic of Islamic morals they claim to uphold.

Qatar, like the other Gulf states, is also blatantly hypocritical in its foreign policy. While it maintains important and pragmatic relations with Israel, when it needs to appeal to Arab public sentiment, in true flashy Gulf state style, it has pulled what best can be described as media stunts, such as very publicly donating $50 million to HAMAS in 2006 or naming a brand new Qatar Airways B777 after Gaza (in response to El Al naming one of its B777s after the HAMAS-besieged town of Sderot). Furthermore, as one of the first WikiLeaks-published US State Department cables reported, the Gulf states were secretly urging the United States to attack Iran - grand hypocrisy.

In the end, Qatar gets away with gross human rights violations and a complete lack of democracy and civil society thanks to its huge gas and money reserves. And again we see the US government howling complaints that countries like Australia and Canada ' are 'kow-towing' to Cuba and ignoring human rights in the hope of gaining business deals when itself does the same thing to countries that are far more undemocratic and are greater human rights violators like Qatar.

But we are easily fooled and blinded when we see an elegant woman dressed in haute couture - elegance couldn't possibly arise from an autocratic society! We are suckers to a woman in a nice frock. Superficial. This should not distract us that the country she represents would not meet Western standards of human rights and civil society under other circumstances. To be taken seriously, there must be consistency - frankly, the treatment of nations based on the rather fluid notion and selective application of human rights and civil society is not.

Greece tackling the big issues - photos on an official's website

'God's gift to the world'

The Guardian is reporting the latest US State Department cables published by WikiLeaks regarding how frustrated US officials are with the Europeans for having these 'human rights standards' which are getting in the way of the US government's 'war on terror'. Not to worry, so many other countries like China feel the same way! In their bitch on the Council of Europe's work, the Americans took it out on Thomas Hammarberg – the council's human rights commissioner – for his criticism of US counter-terrorism policy. The Guardian states that in a separate cable referring to comments made to the US by the Maltese ambassador, Hammarberg is accused of seeing himself as "God's gift to the world". Wow, before Cablegate I never realised how catty and petty these diplomats are. Of course, these US officials then turn around and applaud Hammarberg when he awards Cuban 'dissidents' awards. Hmm....

What has caught my attention though is this piece of diplomatic pettiness. US officials noted "a rather sad exchange" where Greece complained that Hammarberg had chosen photos of Turkey for his website that portrayed a positive image of the country. Big issue, no doubt. "The Greek ambassador criticised photos apparently chosen for Hammarberg's website regarding [his] recent official visit to Turkey". The cable goes on to say that "the Greek contrasted the 'vacation-like, very positive' images with those associated with the commissioner's visit to Greece." Of course, the Greeks were bitter at Hammarberg as the Council of Europe have been quite damning of Greece's treatment of refugees and its officially non-existent but very much present minorities. There's nothing that gets Greece more edgy that admitting there are indigenous ethnic groups in their country other than Greeks or whenever their arch enemy Turkey 'outshines' them. I mean, the Turks are supposed to be all evil, innit? Now, the crazy thing is that the photos of Turkey on the the commissioner's website don't look 'vacation-like' at all! Check them out here and see.

All I can say to Greece is that they need to build a bridge and get over it! We've had quite enough already.

Desperate Dictator Housewives - Zimbabwe's Grace Mugabe

Or 'Dis Grace' as she is dubbed by many Zimbabweans, the delightful Grace is usually referred to as 'the mother of the nation' in the government-controlled media. London's Sun newspaper called her 'Gucci Grace'. The 45 year old wife of ageing Zimbabwean leader, Robert Mugabe, has made the news lately with her announcement that she will be suing the opposition Zimbabwean newspaper the Standard for $15 million, as the Guardian reports, 'for reporting allegations released by Wikileaks that she had made "tremendous" profits in the illicit diamond trade'. Ouch! She is the first person implicated in the leaked US State Department cables to take legal action on a media outlet on account of publishing their details.

So who is Grace Mugabe and why is she up in arms about these allegations? Let's see if you notice a pattern emerging here. Grace was born in 1965 and raised a good Catholic. Her first husband was an air force pilot who now is posted at the very important Zimbabwean embassy in Beijing, China. Grace scored well when she became the secretary of Zimbabwe's president Robert Mugabe, a hero in Africa for having successfully fought against the racist Rhodesian regime of Ian Smith to gain Zimbabwe's independence in 1980. It wasn't long before Robert was having it off with his secretary, 41 years his junior, and she gave birth to two children out of wedlock - a girl named Bona after Robert Mugabe's mother and a boy named Robert Junior (wise choices). Word has it that Robert made sure Grace's then-hubby be whisked out of the country. Robert Mugabe was a widower at the time as his first wife, the Ghanaian-born and much respected Sally Hayfron, the original 'mother of the nation', had died in 1992. In 1996, Robert and Grace married in an extravagant Catholic mass, and in 1997 Grace gave birth to their third child.

I snared him! Robert and Grace at their wedding in 1996

Grace since then has led a lifestyle as extravagant as her wedding. Her shopping trips to Europe, where she was once spent $120,000 in one go, are notorious. Her weakness is for shoes. These lavish trips were happening while Zimbabwe was economically in dire straits, no food in the shops, public services non-existent and Zimbabweans were experiencing the greatest hyperinflation of all time. Mugabe blamed the West, while the West blamed Mugabe for the economic chaos. That was hardly any comfort for the suffering Zimbabweans. In any case, Grace's shopping betrayed her responsibility as the new 'mother of the nation'. Alas, these trips to Europe and the USA are over as she, along with over 50 other high-positioned Zimbabweans, are barred entry. Oh well, she goes to China and Hong Kong instead, where her daughter Bona is supposedly studying. Grace, ever living up to her name, was involved in a scuffle with a British photographer in Hong Kong last year. The diamond-encrusted bling she was wearing ensured that the photographer was covered in cuts. Being the wife of a president, she was immune from any prosecution - convenient.

You mess with Grace, she mess your face

Grace naturally has a luxurious pile to put all that shopping in. Her first palace, dubbed 'Gracelands' (the Zimbabweans are so cool with these nicknames), was according to La Mugabe paid with her own savings. She does well then... you'd think she'd be selling diamonds then to get money like that... oops. It goes without saying in scenarios like these that Grace is alleged to be linked to the most profitable businesses in the country. Gracelands has since been sold to Libya's Muammar Qaddafi, and she and Robert now live in a bigger palace. She also built mansions in Zvimba, Mugabe’s rural home, ostensibly because she did not want to live in another mansion that Mugabe had built for the first wife; at Chivhu, her hometown; and in Zimbabwe's capital Harare. She is reported to have several farms in the country and properties in Malaysia and Hong Kong. Ownership of the farms is extremely controversial as many of them were seized in nationalist land occupation campaigns. In the past decade, Robert Mugabe and his ruling ZANU-PF party have presided over this controversial land campaign. Using the last thread of his respect as a freedom fighter, they have mobilised many poor Zimbabweans and veterans from the war of independence to reclaim the farmers' land. However, it seems that some of these farms end in the hands of the likes of Grace Mugabe rather than the landless peasants these seizures are supposedly orchestrated for.

Now, for something different, Grace is bit of a clothes horse too! Just like the other 'desperate housewives', she has a thing for making the bold fashion statement. Some have thought that she was trying to 'outdo Princess Diana' by buying glamorous outfits, some of which 'did not seem appropriate for the African climate'. So let's have a look at Grace and her fashion look. Would Nina Garcia approve...?

Now, the word has it that Grace has been involved in extra-marital affairs with younger, rich and flamboyant business men, some of whom were killed or forced to flee the country. But the biggest scandal to hit Zimbabwe this year was when it was reported Grace has had a six year affair with Gideon Gono, Zimbabwe's central bank chief. Gono's a smart one for figures. His main mantra when it comes to economics and Zimbabwe's economy is simple - print more money! He was the one responsible for the one hundred trillion dollar note, which by the time it hit the streets was worth less than the paper it was printed on. While on his watch the Zimbabwean economy collapsed. So yes, he's just marginally better that those other guys controlling the world's economy. But all this was no problem for Gono, as being a religious man he would regularly make biblical references in his monetary policy statements. For instance, he usually ends in policy statements to the Zimbabwean parliament by saying "In the Lord's hands, I commit this Monetary Policy Framework for our economic turnaround." It's going to take more than Lord's hand to turn things around in Zimbabwe now, matey.

Off to the Harare shops. Where's that wheelbarrow?

Anyway, news of this affair was seen as logical 'confirmation' that part of Mugabe's 'manhood had been removed during the years he was incarcerated under the former Rhodesian government' and therefore 'he was unable to satisfy his wife'. However, a Zimbabwean website claims that a ZANU-PF official believes (that's reliable) Mugabe’s 'impotence' is what also led his first wife to have an affair with his brother Albert. This subsequently led to Albert’s mysterious death in 1982 after Mugabe discovered his brother was doing the dirties with the missus. Hmmm... so go explain how Mugabe was able to have three kids with Grace then?

Gono and Grace... 'business' partners

Now this telenovela gets even more telenovela. So how did Mugabe find out about his cheating wife, Grace? Of course, Mugabe’s late sister, Sabina, is said to have revealed the sensational affair to her brother as she lay dying in a Harare hospital. Sabina had never liked Grace and she just couldn't hold it back. Robert was apparently taken aback about the revelation and needed to ask a bodyguard to positively confirm the rumour, which he did. Robert Mugabe had apparently encouraged the 'friendship' between his wife and his best friend thinking that when the pair would met, they would discuss their mutual business interests. Well, if this is to believed, they were doing more than just talking business.

So there's today's episode. Yet again, we have another case of a corrupt elite, living beyond the bounds of decency and respect, while the people they claim to serve live in poverty. The (scary) thing is that more 'episodes' are on their way...